Contrary to popular belief, senior year is not “a blast”. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been fun, I’ve done some cool things with some cool people. I’ve also been neck deep in homework I don’t know how to do. I’ve bullshitted more assignments than I ever thought possible. I’ve never hated school more. School is prison. I wake up every morning and see the sun shining through my window and quickly dulled by the thought that I will be trapped inside metaphorical barbed wire fences, where sunshine is an optical illusion.
The whole year everyone talks about the end of the year and by the time the year actually starts, all anyone wants is for it to be over. Similar to every other year of school, except seniors don’t have to come back. Ever. School is now an option, for most of us. As senioritis kicks in, everything seems like an option. Options about what scholarships to apply for, what days to go to school, what classes to skip, what friends to actually consider friends. The hardest part is actually making those decisions.
Everyone will tell you about how hard it is making decisions, but honestly, during senior year, it hasn’t been. Most decision making has been based on impulse or common sense (the two don’t always correspond). If a scholarship is about community service changing my life, not gonna write it. Community service hasn’t changed my life therefore 500 words of bullshit aren’t going to happen. Oh, it’s sunny outside? Probably not going to go to school. It’s so easy to make these decisions, the hard part is the backlash.
The backlash is usually a combination of direct consequence from whatever I chose to do and my parents (dad) flipping out*. Backlash goes like this: oh shoot, didn’t get $500 scholarship because I didn’t lie, and dad thinks I’m never going to college. Of course, every action has an equal and opposite reaction, thanks Newton, but in some cases, it isn’t a very “equal” reaction.
Options are nice. We all have them. I had the option to use 50+ synonyms to nice, but I chose nice because sometimes I like to be perfectly bland. And sometimes I like to skip school. And sometimes I don’t want to go to college. And sometimes I want to do nothing. But all of the time, I want senior year to be over.
*I can already feel the backlash coming from writing this blog